When a book makes you say to yourself, "Oh my God, are you serious?!" on nearly every page, you don't know if you are reading an awesomely funny book or if it is just so outrageously cheesy that just when you think nothing else could make you blink to reread what you just said, there is a cow pooing in the bedroom to show you that, yes...it did go there. Again.

Angel Lynn's Master My Viking is a book I bought for my Kindle at Christmas time. I haven't finished it yet, but I couldn't NOT blog about this book. And yes, I will be finishing it. Cheesiness aside, it is an enjoyable cheese and not the kind that is just untolerable.

I think the only real issues I have with the book is that, A. all the Vikings seem to be complete idiots. And B. it is a historical Viking romance, yet there are modern slang terms and phrases mixed into both the narritive and the dialogue. Even though "Hel in a hand basket" made me giggle like a school girl because it was a clever way to insert the Norse Hel into a modern phrase, but still...some of the sayings should have been more consistent with the time in which the speakers are speaking.

On the otherhand the quirkiness and humor is what makes reading this book sooo worth it. Cows in a bedroom, the mother and mother-in-law pulling up a chair to "witness" the wedding night between the hero and heroine...yeah, that's funny. The constant use of "humping." Made me laugh because my good friend, Hailey Edwards, uses it to describe the act of sex in online chats.

I think one of the parts that really had me near tears laughing, while being slightly appalled, is when the hero, Sigurd is told by his father that he is to marry a woman that the bride price for was only 2 silver coins. He freaks out trying to figure out what is wrong with the wench. The kicker is the dad tells her she is a bit old, twenty-three, and Sigurd's reaction is, "Siguard slumped low on the bench, convinced now that the woman was defective, else she would've been married off long ago."

Story of my life. *sigh*

I will tell you my thoughts on the book as a whole once I finish reading it. I just had to share this book with you guys. It isn't great writing, no. But if you want some light reading to amuse you, you'll enjoy it.

Today has just been a morning of "wow, really?" My car is still messed up beyond repair, I joined Zoosk on facebook to try to fix my dating-challenged part of my life, but considering the men in Savannah have the idea that women should be curvy in that they have large breasts, but not look like a whale kinda kills that hope for me. There are men on there that think good sex is what an ideal first date should end. Not to mention my job is blah and now my land lord discovered that she we are paying $100 dollars less than we are supposed to, but she wrote the rent into the lease that way. So technically, we are not required to pay more than that until after the lease is up. But I hate drama.

On a less dreary note, or more dreary considering how you look at it.... Georgia Power is having a power outage on early Friday morning. Um....If you have read the Fever series by Karen Marie Moning, you may recall from Dreamfever that Savannah was made into a Dark Zone until V'lane saved us from the Shades and the rest of the Unseelie by having the Seelie help the humans in the city restore the power. As much as it amuses me that this is happening now... I have to open the store that morning, so I hope the power is back on by then.

Those of you who have not read anything by Sandra Sookoo, be prepared for a lovely historical...with a hot pirate! It will be available through Liquid Silver Books at 7pm tonight. You know you wanna read it. Really, you know you do. ;)

http://liquidsilverbooks.com/

Okay, so I don't EAT nail polish on bagels if you got that idea from the title. Eeew. Those are just the two things that I seem to be caught up on at the moment. Bagels...I cannot stop eatting them. All that bread cannot be doing any good, and is probably only packing on the weight I could be losing from not drinking Pepsi anymore. IDK what it is about bagels. They are my new love of the breakfast food world.

So New Year's Day I drove to Florida to visit my dad. I felt fine when I left, but that night I was hurting everywhere and was running a high fever. The chills and the fever dreams were the worst part. I dreamt of many random things in 15 - 20 minute intervals; my funeral -- because I thought I was dying, the fact that my fever would never end until some math equation was figured out with the pyramids (wtf!), and that little dudes the size of toy soldiers were standing on my back as they removed my bones and replaced them with blue lego blocks.

Yeah. Happy New Year's to me.

I have Bronchitis. I am not pleased. I am miserable, but I am trying to get through. Mayhap after this passes the year will look up.

I am also going to close my websites in the next month or two. I no longer use it often, and 12 dollars a month is a lot to someone who doesn't earn a lot from her job.

So.... You would think the maniac who posted on Eric Etebari's facebook that he was a fan fave for the role of Jericho Barrons if Darkfever, which has been optioned by 20th Century Fox & based on the book by Karen Marie Moning, and have him contact Karen and let her interview him would have pretty darned good luck, right?

Wrong.

Oh, how fate laughs at me. Let me count the ways....

1. Last night the toilet overflowed. Luckily, it was just toliet water, or it could have been worse, but unfortunately the turny knob thing that can cut off the water should it begin to overflow is no longer attached to the toliet. So I had to stand in 2 inches of water trying to soak it up with towels and wring it out in the tub.

2. The US Post Office has misplaced FIVE packages that were coming to me from various parts of the country. FIVE.

3. Car has been acting up. The steering wheel has been all funky. Then the engine was smoking really bad since last Wednesday. Today the engine died on me in the bank parking lot. It let me pull out of my parking space only to promptly die. A few nice men helped me get the car into a parking space until I could get my friend to use their AAA to get me towed to a car repair shop. An old lady threw a fit that we were blocking her in even though we were pushing the car to get it out of her way. The irony? I just placed an order on a rental for the weekend to visit my dad. It is a camry. My piece of crap car that I killed is a camry. The fates are mocking me.

That is my rant for the evening. Let's hope that my luck turns at the start of the new year. LOL.

I hope to have more to post about soon, but as of now... I got nothin'