Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A Day in the Life of Bagheera

Bagheera doesn't seem to be aware that she is a cat. She thinks she is a person most of the time, and if she had thumbs....we'd be in trouble.  She picks things up in those little paws of hers all the time. She's a klepto of jewelry, coins, pens, or anything small and easily batted around.

Recently, her favorite game is "make mommy carry me to bed like a little baby." And she succeeds every time in making me do it. She knows I can't deny cuteness, and she plays on it.

But we'll get to that momentarily. Let's start with how the day begins, shall we?

When Bagheera is awake, everyone must be awake. She doesn't like being alone unless she decides to wander off. So some mornings she plays with the miniblinds. Other days she brings in a toy with a bell in it and rolls around the bed with it, and some morning she just crawls on my back (I sleep on my tummy mostly) and purrs loudly into my ear.  This fingers were sticking out from under the they had to die.

After I am up she herds me into the living room to open the blinds (the queen must be able to watch her royal subjects, the squirrels, and know they do as she wishes). Then she herds me to the kitchen to feed her. After she is fed, she allows me to do my human stuff for a little while and then, as soon as I get busy on the computer doing something important....she hops on the desk and streeeeeeetches out in front of the monitor. Then she stands there. Sits there. Yawns there. Starts washing herself. Or rolls on her back in front of me and does every cute thing she can think of to distract me...which works just fine until she kicks the speaker behind the desk again and scares her into a panic.

If the phone rings, she attacks it. She cannot stand for it to make noise. If I play my iPod touch without the headphones, she goes after it too. Small rectangles of plastic should not be making noise. She demands anything smaller than she is to obey her in this.

And if I am talking on the phone she tries to distract me. She'll fluff up with her ears back and start hopping around sideways and acting like there is something there that shouldn't be (a voice coming out of some small rectangle of plastic that does not obey her in all things) and carry on till I am off the phone.

When dinner time comes around, if she doesn't get her can food she pouts. You may wonder how does a cat pout? Well...easily. She drops down onto the kitchen floor while you eat YOUR yummy food, and and strikes a melodramatic pose as if she will swoon into a nonexistence should you not give her the food she wants right away. She only gets one can a week (one can lasts her 2 nights).

If I am doing chores, she has to over see them all.  Dusting...she has to walk along the freshly dusted surface to ensure her toes come away clean. Laundry...she has to roll in the clean sheets to make sure the static cling sheets worked...and to make sure I don't get sad that my sheets are cat hair free. Sweeping...she wants to ensure that I don't sweep up anything of value. But vacuuming she want's nothing to do with. She hates the vacuum.

Brushing my teeth, however, is her downfall. She is OBSESSED with toothpaste. She will lick it out the sink if you forget to rinse it all out. She will attack you, hold your face still with her paws and smell your face to make sure you have brushed your teeth before bed. And if for some reason there is toothpaste on you when she inspects she will find it and remove it.

But lately before bed she is playing the "I'm so tired I can't move" game to see if I will carry her. It has gone on for two weeks straight. She curls up in the cat bed in the computer room, which I close at night so she doesn't klepto my pens and knock them all under the book cases. When I turn the computer off and stand up she blinks up at me with those sleepy, squinty eyes. Meows, which comes out as a squeaky little MEEP, and climbs out of the bed, makes it 2 steps then falls over on the floor, closes her eyes and squints them open again, she is sooooo weak and content where she is, knowing I have to close the door and she will be stuck in there.  So I pick her up and carry her to the living room or bedroom, where ever my next destination will be, and she is magically wide awake and bouncing off the walls again. I know she is testing me to see if I will do it. She's sneaky, but not that sneaky.


Anonymous said...

I think I need to be a kitteh!


Ricki Jill Treleaven said...

No kidding, Jenn. I want to come back as Bagheera. Too, too cute :D

Victoria said...

LOL she's a little ham.